(Summer 2007--Spring Hill Camps, Michigan) One year out of college, I felt like a complete failure. I didn't realize it was possible for a person to crash their car twice, quit three jobs, and live off toast for 12 full months... but that had been my life. I had a degree, but no direction. And I felt that I had already wasted my life by the age of 23.
One afternoon feeling particularly lost, I decided to go for a long walk in the woods surrounding camp. Something about undisturbed nature so appropriately sets the stage for encounter with God...and that's what I wanted. I think I was naively searching for the audible voice of God to give me direction. "Tiffany, go to school in Michigan and become a social worker." "Tiffany, go into full time ministry." "Tiffany, you really should be designing shoes." I wanted something clear and direct.
I found a small clearing surrounded by the tall trees of Michigan with one large fallen tree in the center. I settled in a nook of the fallen tree and sat, waiting. At first, I encountered silence...
But, eventually the wind picked up and I found myself completely surrounded by one of the most powerful, comforting movements I've ever experienced. I didn't hear anything clear or direct, but I felt an overwhelming peace that God was with me.
I recently read an excerpt by Eugene Peterson (author of The Message) about prayer and listening to God's voice. He compared the process of prayer to the experience of feeling wind.
He emphasized that like the wind, God speaks in ways that are strong and present. Wind is a mysterious movement. It's actually quite incredible when you think about the fact that something you can't see can so unmistakeably move you. The same is true for prayer. We know we are encountering something, but often it's filled with mystery rather than certainty...which leads us to walk in faith.
I look to prayer, like I look to the wind. God's voice is often mysterious. But He is active, He is moving, and He is near. And I guess that's all I need to know.
And now a flashback from 2007..
