Within Our Own Walls

During my summer in Puebla, some friends took me to visit the Secret Convent of Santa Monica. Hidden in the heart of the city, Santa Monica housed daughters of wealthy Christians who had become pregnant out of wedlock. The silence of their shame still filled the convent's tight corridors and inner gardens. One large room felt hollow and empty, the focal point being a tall blank wall. Holes covered the wall and connected the empty room to a public cathedral on the other side. Girls would stand at the holes to watch their friends and family attend mass and reach for the smallest connection to their former lives. My friends told me that there were children who never saw the outside of the convent. They were born to their unwed mothers, raised by the nuns, and died within four walls tucked in the heart of a busy city...a city unaware of their existence.

Last week I was telling my brother-in-law Bobby about a friend of mine. I commented that she had an incredible heart, but beat herself up a lot. We both reflected that this seems to be the case with most Christians. We have perfected the art of self-deprecation.

We are born, raised, and die within the silent walls of our own shame.

"I shouldn't have said that to him." "I need to pray more." "Why can't I break this addiction?"

I wonder that we have lost the message of Christ so quickly. It's as if we BELIEVE Jesus lived and died...so that we could pass our lives beating ourselves up!

But Jesus came so that we might live, free from shame.

Romans 8:1, 14-16 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children."

What's In a Name?

Right after college, a couple of my friends were talking about God's unique design for each of us. They encouraged me to pray that God would reveal to me a name He had chosen to describe me.

God called me Joy.

At first, I felt a quiet nudge in prayer. Not prone to faith in supernatural communication, I wasn't convinced. Until the next day I saw a giant billboard with the solitary word "JOY" written in diamonds. That day at work, I received a Christmas card and holiday pin from a co-worker. The pin simply said, "Joy." The following weekend my mom was on the phone with my aunt Penny who commented, "It was so nice to see Tiffy at the wedding. She is always full of so much JOY."

However, I haven't felt very joyful lately. And here's my conclusion. There are many voices we listen to that crowd out God's voice. These voices can be from pop culture, "You should be skinnier." They might come from family, "Why aren't you married yet?" Sometimes even our faith communities, "You can't act that way!" Regardless, they drown out the voice of He who created us to be unique displays of His character.

I wonder what God has named each of you, AND I wonder which voices you've been hearing.

Friday night, my friend Danielle and I watched Julia Robert's new movie Eat, Pray, Love. The movie is based on the memoir of a recently divorced woman who travels the world in order to find inner-peace. During her stay at a Hindu temple, Robert's character learns to not only forgive herself for past mistakes, but also learns to accept herself and all of her eccentricities. She concludes her stay in India with the statement, "God is in each of us."

In the book of Ephesians, Paul says that God has created each of us with a specific purpose. Some are meant to be teachers, some preachers, some museum curators, some engineers, some stay-at-home moms (4:11). He adds that when we come together we function as a unified body. Paul repeats the body analogy in 1 Corinthians, encouraging us each to embrace our special purpose, "If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be (12:17-18)."

I like the thought that God has chosen to create each human uniquely to portray the complexity of His character. He's quiet and patient, but also loud and passionate. He's both fierce and gentle. He exists in the serious and the crazy.

May we embrace our uniqueness and eccentricities! May we listen to the voice that speaks Truth.