Choosing to Love

My friend's brother recently broke up with the girl he thought was 'the one.' She said he's devastated and calls my friend all of the time to try to figure out ways he can get his ex- back.

I empathize with him and think of the look I get from friends when I start talking about 'that guy' ...again. The look where she listens but secretly wants to punch me in the face for not getting over it. (I have violent friends.)

Relationships can drive us to obsession when we feel we're in control. What if I did this? Would that change the way my child/lover/friend responded to me?

In the Old Testament, God asks Abraham to offer his new son, Isaac, as a burnt sacrifice. So, Abraham climbs to the top of a mountain and prepares to plunge a knife in his young child who asks, "But, dad? Where's the lamb?"

And readers everywhere scream, "What the crap-kind-of-story is this?!"

But lately, I've been realizing that it's a brilliant-kind-of-story story. It teaches us the appropriate way to approach relationship.

Without clinging.

Without obsession.

Without control.
In fact, an important aspect of relationship is allowing the other to move with free will--whether toward or away from us. That's why it's so beautiful when people actually choose to move toward one another.

And though it's difficult to let someone move away from us, clinging only suffocates. Think of the mom who hyper-manages her child, or the friend who becomes irate when you do not respond in the way they want.

When one ceases to be able to choose, they cease to be able to love. The relationship becomes ugly.

Thus, Abraham trusted God enough to sacrifice his son. A God who, in His goodness, spared Isaac by providing a lamb at the last minute. Who, in His goodness, provided a lamb for all of us that we may live in abundant love.