God loves Russian Orphans like me?

Liam fell asleep mid-giggle and snuggled into my armpit this morning. As I listened to NPR, the following story brought me to tears: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126069646

A 7-year old Russian boy was sent alone on a plane to return to the orphanage his Tennessee mother had adopted him from with the following note attached, "I no longer wish to parent this child."

I couldn't blame the emotional outburst on hormones; and just felt silly sitting alone in my sister's living room, holding my nephew, weeping. I mean I love everything about this kid. I love how he raises one eyebrow as he unintelligibly tells me something REALLY important and then breaks out in a huge smile. I even love when I find his dirty diapers under the seat of my car a few days too late.

Deep inside, I think something breaks inside all of us when we hear a story like this. Our souls know that EVERY CHILD SHOULD BE LOVED. Rejected children are a painful reminder of our fallen world--there's something so wrong about it that we can't help but cry. One of the beautiful things about living for the Kingdom is working toward the unconditional, forever adoption of the orphan.

But I think we weep also because part of us relates to the Russian orphan. The tears form when we recall a moment in our lives when someone placed US on a plane for Russia with a note: 'I no longer love her. She's loud and talks too much.'

One semester in college, my friend Cree relentlessly called me EVERY day and said, "Tiffy. God loves you." Sometimes that was all she would say before hanging up.

And it was annoying.

I mean, who was Cree to tell ME that God loved me. I was leading Bible Study at the time and preparing to co-lead a team of 15 for Campus Crusade to Mexico that summer. Of course I knew God loved me!

But I didn't...not really.

Pain and rejection complicate things. They try to convince us that when people forsake us or find us un-lovely that God also feels this way. That maybe something about us needs to change. Maybe we need to DO certain things to stay love-able.

But that's not how God works. He loves us as much as I love my nephew; and He weeps every time one of us gets sent back to Russia with a note saying we are no longer love-able.

He weeps because it's not true and He wants the orphan in all of us to know it.

I remember the exact moment...a year later, when I really FELT like God loved me.

(ring ring ring)

"Hello? God loves YOU." Do you believe it?