Baptist kids don't grow up attending Tenebrae services, but the last two years I've joined my friend Darci at her Methodist church on Maundy Thursday.

This year the significance of what we celebrated struck a little deeper, and largely due to the theme of this blog.

During the service, I thought a lot about the experience of the disciples. Some say the followers of Jesus hoped for political revolution. Others could taste the sweetness of spiritual reform. Either way, the excitement rose as the Messiah rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and people waved palm branches shouting "Hosanna."

And I feel giddy with them that FINALLY their expectations will be realized.

But then, Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

Pause.

Did He just say He was going to die?

Looking at the crucifixion from the perspective of unrealized expectations, I feel the pain more deeply. I no longer only see my friend dying on a cross--but also my hopes, dreams, and expectations. I suddenly feel foolish for wanting the world to be a better place, or giving someone a second chance. I begin to wish I hadn't taken risks or spoken so boldly, because it seems that things will end up

just

as

they

have

always

been...

We already know the ending. The disciples' ideas did not compare to the plans of God. Jesus had spoken to them about the future. He had tried to comfort them with the promise of Sunday.

I love this about God.

I have some pretty good dreams. And when they begin to crumble...I don't need to feel foolish.

Instead I wait...

Instead I hope...

for something BETTER!

Happy Easter, friends.